A Day in the Life of Marauders or not
by The Waffleshorts
Summary: Future spoilers for OotP! Chaos everywhere!!!!


A Day in the Life of Marauders... Or Not.  
  
By: The Waffleshorts  
  
A/N: (This is so you ((and the characters)) don't get confused...cuz we all know mr. black is likely to do just that...)  
  
Sirius Black- Loopy Liverface  
  
Remus Lupin- Pinky Chickenlips  
  
James Potter- Pinky Bubblesniffer  
  
Harry Potter- Loopy Bubblesniffer  
  
Lily Evans- Boobie Picklechunks  
  
Peter Pettigrew- Tulefel Girdlesniffer  
  
Ronald Weasley- Zippy Girdlefanny  
  
Hermione Granger- Loopy Gizzardchunks  
  
Albus Dumbledore- Lumpy Chickenmouth  
  
Minerva McGonagall- Zippy Gigglehiney  
  
Severus Snape- Squeezit Rhinobiscuits  
  
Neville Longbottom- Squeezit Bubblepants  
  
Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort- Pinky Cootienose/ Loopy Bubblenose  
  
Fred Weasley- Crusty Girdlefanny  
  
George Weasley- Goober Girdlefanny  
  
Molly Weasley- Boobie Girdlefanny  
  
Arthur Weasley- Tulefel Girdlefanny  
  
Percy Weasley- Loopy Girdlefanny  
  
Bill Weasley- Boobie Girdlefanny  
  
Charlie Weasley- Poopsie Girdlefanny  
  
Ginny Weasley- Zippy Girdlefanny  
  
Draco Malfoy- Poopsie Applebreath  
  
Lucius Malfoy- Buttercup Applebreath  
  
Narcissa Malfoy- Loopy Applebreath  
  
Bellatrix Lestrange- Boobie Girdlesniffer  
  
Alastor Moody- Poopsie Bubblenose  
  
Rubeus Hagrid- Lumpy Applebuns  
  
Gilderoy Lockhart- Boobie Bubblebutt  
  
Cornileus Fudge- Loopy Chickenpants  
  
Ludo Bagman- Gidget Appletushie  
  
Bartemius Crouch- Loopy Gizzardsprinkles  
  
Igor Karkaroff- Goober Applebutt  
  
Olympe Maxime- Dinky Applelips  
  
Viktor Krum- Flunky Gizzardtushie  
  
Prologue:  
  
Harry, Hermione, Ron, Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, Fred, George, Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ginny, Barty, Draco, Hagrid, Ex-Professor Lockhart, and Viktor were wandering around the Hogwarts school grounds {a/n: yes, we realize that some of these people are currently not living, but this is our story, not yours and we don't care!!!!} when all of a sudden BAM! Lockhart runs into the Whomping Willow and Ginny (being the 'smart' one) picks a piece of parchement that fell out of it.  
  
"Hey guys! Come look at this!!" she shouted. The whole group, even Snape and Lockhart come to see what it is and everyone sticks their finger on it to see how it feels (cuz its so dang old) and in a bright flash, all of them are gone.  
  
(This is what the bit of old parchment says:  
  
Use the THIRD letter of your first name to determine your new first name:  
  
a = poopsie  
  
b = lumpy  
  
c = buttercup  
  
d = gidget  
  
e = crusty  
  
f = greasy  
  
g = fluffy  
  
h = cheeseball  
  
i = chim-chim  
  
j = stinky  
  
k = flunky  
  
l = boobie  
  
m = pinky  
  
n = zippy  
  
o = goober  
  
p = doofus  
  
q = slimy  
  
r = loopy  
  
s = snotty  
  
t = tulefel  
  
u = dorkey  
  
v = squeezit  
  
w = oprah  
  
x = skipper  
  
y = dinky  
  
z = zsa-zsa  
  
Use the SECOND letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:  
  
a = apple  
  
b = toilet  
  
c = giggle  
  
d = burger  
  
e = girdle  
  
f = barf  
  
g = lizard  
  
h = waffle  
  
i = cootie  
  
j = monkey  
  
k = potty  
  
l = liver  
  
m = banana  
  
n = rhino  
  
o = bubble  
  
p = hamster  
  
q = toad  
  
r = gizzard  
  
s = pizza  
  
t = gerbil  
  
u = chicken  
  
v = pickle  
  
x = tofu  
  
y = gorilla  
  
z = stinker  
  
Use the FOURTH letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:  
  
a = head  
  
b = mouth  
  
c = face  
  
d = nose  
  
e = tush  
  
f = breath  
  
g = pants  
  
h = shorts  
  
i = lips  
  
j = honker  
  
k = butt  
  
l = brain  
  
m = tushie  
  
n = chunks  
  
o = hiney  
  
p = biscuits  
  
q = toes  
  
r = buns  
  
s = fanny  
  
t = sniffer  
  
u = sprinkles  
  
v = pickle  
  
w = squirt  
  
x = humperdinck  
  
y = brains  
  
z = juice )  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Lily Evans were sitting in Gryffindor Common Room when all of a sudden a bright flash interrupted their conversation about Snivellus (or Severus Snape).  
  
About fifteen or so people (ranging from young to very old...) appeared in the middle of the common room. Four of these people looked vaguely familiar.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius screamed. "You look like him!" He pointed to Harry then to James. "Only, you don't have his eyes...They belong to her." He pointed to Lily.  
  
"Very observant, Sirius, the rest of us already got that." Lupin muttered.  
  
"YOU!" Harry screamed and ran to Pettigrew and started strangling him. That is until Sirius, James, and Remus pulled them apart.  
  
"Well, we must be in another time period because some of you are supposed to be dead, but you aren't. Plus, you look to be about our age. And he's not evil yet-are you?" Hermione said.  
  
"Also very observant." Lupin repeated.  
  
"Show us your arm!" ordered Harry. Pettigrew pulled up his sleeve to reveal...a tattoo that looked like a skull with a snake. "That's the Dark Mark!!!"  
  
"The Whatsit?" asked Sirius. "No, that's a tattoo that he got last week, isn't it Pettigrew? Isn't it? I'm hungry, we'll deal with you later, Pettigrew!" 


End file.
